Article VI - Situational Rules


Section 1: No group of men shall ever watch porn in silence... there must always be some sort of commotion or cheering going on. (Drew in Bremerton)

Section 2: BBQ's

  • Subsection A: No man shall ever hover over or around another man’s grill unless he’s got a cold beer, or a stack of cheese.
  • Subsection B: No man shall “Back Seat” BBQ while another man has been designated the grill master.
  • Subsection C: No man shall ever come to a BBQ empty handed (KK in Kent)
  • Subsection D: No man shall ever work another man’s BBQ unless specifically asked to. (Alex in Redmond)

Section 3: The Car

  • Subsection A: No car art (Miles Montgomery) However graduation tassels get a 5 year window.
  • Subsection B: When sitting shotgun never touch the stereo without permission
  • Subsection C: No vomit in the vehicle
  • Subsection D: Never take your shoes off in another mans car without permission
  • Subsection E: When driving, if another driver does you a favor or courtesy, the hand wave is a must. (Garrett)
  • Subsection F: No man shall let a dog or any small animal ride in his lap while driving. (Joe Dredd)
  • Subsection G: Never rest your arm or hand on the back of another mans seat while driving forward. (Shan)
  • Subsection H: When in another mans car, always ask permission before lighting up any kind of smoke
  • Subsection I: No man should drive a car with a license plate that says "If you're gonna ride my ass, at least pull my hair"
  • Subsection J: No man, while riding shotgun shall put his feet up on another mans dashboard.
  • Subsection K: No man shall open the car door for another man, unless said car door opener is being paid to do so.
  • Subsection L: Under no circumstances shall any man borrow another mans vehicle and NOT replenish any fuel that was used.
  • Subsection M: No man shall stop on the freeway, get out of his car, and snap a picture of a rainbow....with his giant tablet.
  • Subsection N: Never honk another mans horn (Erick from Seattle)
  • Subsection O: If you're hauling a trailer and need to take multiple spots, park far away from the building and walk your ass.
  • Subsection P: No man shall drive slower in any left lane than the posted speed limit (Glazier Nick)

Section 4: No man should carry a blanket to a football or baseball game unless it is for the woman or child he is with. (Chewey)

Section 5: The Man who owns the house, owns the remote controls to the various electronic components, and can only operate another mans remotes if asked to do so. (Tony V)

Section 6: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked

Section 7: "if" your girlfriend or wife finds your porn, cop to it. In fact be proud. Real men are not ashamed of watching porn. If your mom finds it, blame someone else. (Jessica)

Section 8: If you are a chewer of tobacco products, do not use a glass that is in general use to spit in. (Dave in Canada)

Section 9: If, for some unknown reason there is only one girl at a party or bar, she will be ranked minimum of "5" (Bobby in Seattle)

Section 10: If you've been invited to a mans night event, you shall not let your lady come with you.(Dave in Renton)

Section 11: Never call out another man in front of his girl for checking out another woman.

Section 12: waving at another man, no wiggling of the fingers. (Kristopher in Tucson)

Section 13: When two men are out in a bar or restaurant. Unless necessary to watch a game, never sit on the same side of a booth or table. (Mike in Bellevue)

Section 14: No socks with sandals (Bryan in Puyallup)

Section 15: If you are invited to a party, make sure it's ok to bring your kid ahead of time. If you break this rule, bring lots of beer or some damn good grub. (Painterguy D)

Section 16: No man shall take more then one parking space in any parking lot. One car one space. (Dennis in Kingsgate)

Section 17: No man shall listen to anything other than The Mens Room if The Mens Room is on the radio (kurt in Poulsbo)

Section 18: No grown man shall celebrate anybody's half birthday (Jolly Joe)

Section 19: If someone has asked you not to smoke in their house, DO NOT SMOKE IN THEIR HOUSE! (Jolly Joe)

Section 20: When shopping for clothes, no man shall share a dressing room with another man. (Gray in Auburn)

Section 21: No talking on the phone in the gym locker room (Champion in Tacoma)

Section 22: When taking a picture with another man, both parties craniums shall not make contact. (J.U.I)

Section 23: No flossing of the teeth in public.

Section 24: No man shall BBQ on another mans grill without sharing the meat he's BBQ'ing.

Section 25: At the gym, if your piece of equipment is facing another piece of equipment, and the other piece of equipment is occupied, NO EYE CONTACT with the occupant of said piece of machinery. (Pangea Joe)

Section 26: No matter where you are or who you are with, if you poop three times you can go home. No questions asked. (Dave The Candlestick maker)

Section 27: No man shall, under any circumstances, tell any person the names or actions of another man at a strip club.

Section 28: Don't listen to music in the sauna with the volume turned up to 11, people are trying to relax. (Ty in Sacramento)

Section 29: When paying back money that you borrowed, don't ever use change. (LimeGrinder)

Section 30: No man shall attempt to see how large the bar tab is if another man chooses to pay for everyone, just be thankful. (Ryan B)

Section 31: At a gas station, if pump number one is occupied, don't pull into pump three, leaving pump two (in the middle) available. (Devin from Seattle)

Section 32: Never interrupt another man while he is farting.

Section 33: If you are making a run, ask if anyone needs anything from where you are going. (Painterguy D)

Section 34: If a man is invited to a party, that man shall not use his hostages to pimp whatever pyramid scheme he is selling. (Uncle Stinky)

Section 35: Practice optimal seating in a movie theater, if you need to move over one seat so a group can sit together. MOVE, don't be an ass. -Evan (Cincinnati)

Section 36: Don't take longer than 3 minutes to tell a story. (Painter Guy D)

Section 37: If you'd like to borrow something that doesn't belong to you, ASK first (Mac)

Section 38: On a job site, if you must turn down a radio, turn it back up when you leave.

Section 39: When in a concert/sporting event conscesions line. Get your mind made up BEFORE you get to the counter. (Mike in Seattle)

Section 40: If you're gonna bum a dip off someone, just take a pinch, don't horseshoe the dang thing. (V-Nasty)

Section 41: If you're at a bar and you HAVE to puke, try to hit the toilet or garbage. Avoid the sink and urinal when possible. (Gilberto the Bartender)

Section 42: If a man is trying to organize a guys night out, no man shall invite or propose to invite a woman. (KC in Bellevue)

Section 43: Every man must remove his hat or anything on his head that can be removed during our National Anthem. (Todd in Lynnwood)

Section 44: If you don't know him, don't wink at him.

Section 45: Do not change you baby's poopy diaper ON THE TABLE at a restaurant or bar. (Captain Lou)

Section 46: No man shall invite someone to smoke without having at least one for themselves. Moochers are not welcome. (The Mexi-Rican Hybrid)

Section 47: If you're in a family setting, act accordingly. ON THE FLIP SIDE: Don't take your kids to an establishment targeted for adults (Matt)

Section 48: When using an elevator, allow people to get off the elevator before getting on yourself (Corey in B.C.)

Section 49: If you buy a ticket for an event, sit in the seat you bought (Jeffrey)

Section 50: Drivers should absolutely not allow their dogs or any other type of pet or animal to occupy their lap while driving 

Section 51: No man shall ever aska woman if she's pregnant (Patrick)

Section 52: No man shall knowingly seek out and take the man of the house's seat during dinner or at BBQ's without a minimum of an "ok" nod from the owner of the house first (Brad H. in Lynnwood)

Setction 53: If a man agrees to be your wing man, don't throw a fit when it's your turn (Thomas in Bremerton)

Section 54: If you poop more than 3 times, you can go home (Bran the Photographer)

Section 55: If a man makes a mess during a project, you cannot complain about the mess while the man is still working (Matt J)

Section 56: Never EVER hand someone a loaded firearm (Eric K)