Article I - Bathroom Etiquette


Section 1: No excessive or undue conversation in the restroom.

Section 2: Keep eyes forward whenever possible. (John in the NAVY)

Section 3: Always close the stall door, even when going #1 (Charles in Lacey)

Section 4: If you have an option, never use the urinal / Stall right next to a man who is already underway. (Justin in Puyallup)

•    Subsection A: At the gym, no man shall take the shower head next to another man, when none of the others are occupied. (Dennis in Olympia)

Section 5: No phone conversations in a public restroom. (Greg in Marysville) Especially a hands free device (Ron in Silverdale)

•    Subsection A: Camera phone pictures are permitted.

Section 6: No man should ever take longer then 10 seconds looking in the mirror in a public bathroom. (Brandon in Fresno)

Section 7: If you need to change in a public bathroom use the stall, and close the door. (El-Higgones in Marysville)

Section 8: At no point should a man be laying around naked when there are only other men in the area, like in the locker room or sauna. (Ryno)

Section 9: Don't touch a man while he is already "Underway" (Thee Ted Smith)

Section 10: No man shall drop his pants and underwear to the ground while taking a leak. (Dan and Ryno in Marysville)

Section 11: If you must destroy a Mens Room, keep the fan on when you leave. (Rob Pacific)

Section 12: If you leave behind your DNA, YOU clean it up. (Dave in Everett)

Section 13: Never shave naked in a gym bathroom. (Vicente)

Section 14: Never drop a #2 in a club except in an emergency (Charles in Lacey)

Section 15: When at someone else's house, and needing to drop a deuce, always use the furthest bathroom from the general population (Steve "The Thrill" Hill)

Section 16: No man shall have a decorative / fuzzy toilet seat (Cleveland)

Section 17: Do not bring food with you to the bathroom. (John)

Section 18: Never flick or project any mucous onto any external surface of any Mens Room. (Ron in Redmond)

Section 19: If in a non-public restroom, and you use the last of the toilet paper, you mumst replace the roll, or inform the owner that the roll needs replacing (Paul in Oak Harbor)

Section 20: If you drop a deuce, wash your hands. (Dave in Everett)

Section 21: If you put toilet paper on the seat, dispose of it properly when you are done, don't leave it for the next guy.

Section 22: Before you enter a stall, do a foot check to make sure no one is in there. (Austin in Woodenville)

Section 23: While using the restroom, a man shall keep all his body parts within the boundaries of his stall, so long as there are other people in the restroom. (Gary in Auburn)

Section 24: If you drop a deuce at another mans house, stick around long enough to make sure your "Contribution" is COMPLETELY flushed (Jolly Joe)

Section 25: When using the urinal, stand close enough that no one else can see your business. (Brad in Briar)

Section 26: When using a public restroom, flush every time! And if it's broken, tell someone who can fix it.

Section 27: When available, spray something that smells better then your poo after you drop a deuce. (Tank from Olympia)

Section 28: No two men shall use a regular toilet at the same time. (Jolly Joe)

Section 29: No man shall use a public urinal sans pants.

Section 30: If you use the last of the toilet paper, replace the damn roll. (Jon in Redmond)

Section 31: Never use the kid sized urinal when a man sized one is available (F'n Stephen)

Section 32: No man shall knowingly urinate into a toilet that does not belong to him while the seat is down. Ken from Kent)

Section 33: No man should ever require simultaneous use of multiple bathroom sinks: don't be a chick. (C-Diddy)

Section 34: Never leave hair on the soap (The Boatbuilder in Puyallup)

Section 35: If you have made a deposit that has the potential for "shrapnel", check the underside of the seat before you leave and clean it if necessary. (Chris the Urban forklift driver)

Section 36: Never wait for a urinal when there is an open stall.

Section 37: Let the man poop in peace.

Section 38: No man shall start washing his hands in the same sink as another man. (Patrick in Port Orchard)

Section 39: If you happen upon an occupied bathroom with only one stall and you need to use said stall, wait outside until the occupant leaves or at least you hear him wash up. (Jody in Graham)

Section 40: No man shall take a picture in a public bathroom mirror with another man.

Section 41: No man shall ever sing in a public bathroom while there is another person present. (Kapshy)

Section 42: If you destroy a toilet at work, either call for janitorial services or fix it yourself. You know what your disgusting ass has done. (Mac)

Section 43: No man shall approach a urinal with junk already out or in hand. (Swano)

Section 44: No hand shaking in the locker room if one or both men are naked.

Section 45: No man shall get offended or complain about another man laughing at a fart. (David from Seattle)

Section 46: While in the bathroom, no complaining about farts period.

Section 47: If you shake it more than 3 times you're playing with it. (Chris in Lynnwood)

Section 48: If you are brushing your teeth in a public bathroom, do so at your own risk and don't bitch about someone dropping a deuce in there.

Section 49: No man shall leave doozie streaks on the toilet seat, public of private. (Scott in Olympia)

Section 50: If a man feels the need to rip out a hand full of pubic hair, he should make every attempt possible to dispose of the evidence so others are not forced to look at the aftermath of his actions. (Corey)

Section 51: No man should ever take another person's phone into the restroom. (Dana)

Section 52: When necessary, courtesy flush (Pete D.)

Section 53: Nothing except pee goes into the urinals (Matt B.)

Section 54: If there is a curtain that separates the shower from the sinks and stall and there is another man in the shower, make sure it is closed on your way out. (Travis)

Section 55: If you need to shave, make sure you clean up the sink (Travis)

Amendment: If after using the sink and a lot of water ends up on the outside of said sink, dry it up and don't leave it all soggy for the next guy to use it. (Alex)